Witty Quips For Everyday Use

As I lounge here sipping my morning coffee and contemplating such important topics as whether or not to treat myself to a pedicure versus tackling the vast mountain of laundry currently calling my name, I find myself wondering whether in fact the laundry literally just SPOKE! I'm going out on a limb here and presuming it didn't. I'm certain however it wasn't the dog or even my conniving cats who managed to pull one over on my daughter and me this morning and got themselves fed not once but twice, and assuming rather that it was my conscience whispering words of disdain designed to instigate the guilt necessary to get me to finish doing the laundry. Oh and my cats? They are the former leaders of the evil cat cult my children were certain lived beneath the deck at our old house. But I digress... Today's "witty quip for everyday use" is: "What now, quippy?!?". For those of you unfamiliar with this catchy phrase I should in all fairness cite my source. The erroneously cancelled TV series, The Gilmore Girls, provided today's witty quip. Setting the scene: Rory Gilmore has just been turned away from taking an important test by arriving late to class due to a deer hitting her Jeep on her way to school. Rory lost her normally well kept cool and launched into a diatribe, directing the final portion of said diatribe to Paris, an extremely narcissistic young woman whose constant verbal haranguing has culminated in Rory leaning down to Paris and shouting, "what now, quippy?". For those of us requiring a definition, allow me to offer an example: when frustrated or perhaps even agitated, instead of shouting "how do you like them apples?!?", one could instead change it up and shout "what now, quippy?!?". Try it out for yourself. Don't worry, I'll wait. (cue the Jeopardy music here) Now, don't you feel better? Wasn't that refreshing? A dear friend and I use this particular quip on a fairly regular basis as we love the confused looks upon the faces of the befuddled souls for whom we've chosen to bestow our newest riposte upon.

I leave you with a recently discovered anonymous quote: "If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague."

Ciao for now!
Apryl :)