Saturday, November 21, 2015

Holiday weight gain.

I keep hearing that the average person gains about 10 pounds during the holidays, so, since you asked so nicely and all, here's Apryl's tips for avoiding the Holiday-10.  Ready?

1.  Don't eat all the things.

You're welcome.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Dining on What?

Eating out.  One of my favorite things to do.  Genuinely.  As much as I love to plan, and source for, amazing recipes and try new things, I seriously dig going out and being served an amazing meal.  I’m sure that love is primarily motivated by my lack of desire to clean up the kitchen!
If I could someone how combine my love of hiking with my love of fabulous cuisine… well let’s just say that’s a business plan I could totally get behind!  Maybe I should start a mobile food cart in which I travel around to the local hiking hot-spots and offer primal noms to replenish the soul.  Or at least the body!  So in a perfect world, here’s what someone would hand me at the trail head on a bright sunny day:
A chilled bottle of dry Riesling; cool, creamy sliced Havarti; cold green grapes and sliced mango; thin sliced English cucumbers; and to balance it off, several spicy, sliced radishes along with some jalapeno stuffed green olives.  Now doesn’t that sound like the most divine way to celebrate cresting that ridge?  Finding the top of that trail?  Exploring the woods and coming out on the other side into a gorgeous pool of sunlight?  Yeah.
Today’s witty quip:  Be sure to pack your corkscrew and plastic wine glasses in your trail pack, cuz you just never know when I might show up with a great bottle of wine and some primal delights with which to tantalize you!

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Is Paleo Sustainable? Wellll....

Is the Paleo lifestyle sustainable?  I mean true Paleo.  Not the pseudo-Paleo lots of us wind up exercising.  True Paleo means NO alcohol or sugar.  I went Paleo 2 1/2 years ago and between that incredible change in diet and the 3-5 miles a day I was walking/jogging 6 days I week, I lost around 25 pounds in just a few months.  I kept it off too.  Until my sugar addiction coupled with an incredibly stressful job started my downward dog type food spiral.  I would start each day with plans to keep it Paleo.  Breakfast was typically a couple of poached cage free eggs, and some uncured bacon cooked with either sweet potatoes or broccoli slaw.  Lunch was some kind of meat/fish/fowl and veggies.  An apple and some almond butter for lunch.  Then I went home.  Sigh.  I would stick with a Paleo dinner of protein and veggies again but was also indulging in beer/wine/cocktails several days a week.  Oh and I forgot to mention the fresh baked cookies available at work every single afternoon at 2:00.  Sharp.  I’d like to say that I would just break one in half and enjoy it on occasion.  But I’d be lying.  I distinctly remember one day eating 5.  In a row.  In secret.  Because I was embarrassed.  I haven’t gotten this sugar demon, actually, this food demon, fully under control since.
Sadly, the above translates to the regaining of that 25 pounds I’d struggled to loose for most of my adult life.  I’m also not walking/jogging 3-5 miles, 6 days a week any longer.  I’ve found that my brain prefers to weight lift and my back prefers any activity that doesn’t involve pounding pavement for an hour at a time.
Today I practice what most call a Primal lifestyle.  I still don’t eat packaged food and if I’m honest, I’ll talk about how I tried to add back in cheese and regular use of heavy cream back into my diet.  My gut hated it (translation:  the gurgling and farting heard round the world.  Ok, at least heard at my local Trader Joes).  I still enjoy a good porter or stout or a glass of zinfandel once or twice a week but had to come to grips with the fact that it couldn’t be more than that.  It just doesn’t work with my body.  I still don’t do processed foods.  I do buy canned tomatoes and sauerkraut and I absolutely love the portability of Larabars and sardines or smoked oysters.  I still struggle with a sugar addiction that is almost as bad as my smoking addiction was for 20 years!  But, I hold out hope that I’ll get it under control.  I quit smoking 3 1/2 years ago and never looked back.  If I can do that, then surely I can kick sugar!
One thing I’m absolutely not is a food-nazi.  Well to a degree.  If I see margarine (aka one molecule away from literally being plastic) there’s a good chance I’ll loose my mind and break my rule of never offering unsolicited advice and fill you full of so much information you’ll probably never invite me over for dinner and a movie ever again.  But know this, I love you!  And I care!  And if you can’t pronounce it and you can’d define, why on earth would you eat it???

NOT a Dirty Word

I refuse to be one of those people who snarkily responds to the checkout chick at the local Target with a haughty “Merry CHRISTMAS” in response to their forced “happy holidays”.  I just won’t.  While it irritates me that the majority cowers to the minority, my becoming snotty and screaming at innocent people that they should see it MY way is no better than any of “them” who are mortally wounded by my use of the word Christmas.
At the risk of offending more of the perpetually offended I do choose to offer the following completely neutral observation:  Ummm “Christmas” is an official holiday.  Just like Kwanza.  Or Easter.  Or Valentine’s day.  Or Boxing day.  Or Halloween.  So that having been said, is it really so offensive to the Atheists that the rest of us celebrate a holiday by it’s given name?  Christians are not running amok insisting that Jewish folks stop celebrating Hanukkah.  Heck, anyone with even a modicum of history in his or her back pocket realizes that celebrating Columbus day is essentially a gigantic slap in the face and a flying middle finger to American Indians.  Soooo, again, why are we allowing the minority to dictate to the majority?
To that end, I offer this article.  Are we so caught up in the minutia that the idea of an Air Force officer encouraging his troops to participate in the gathering of Christmas gifts for under-privileged children that we’ve completely lost the forest for the trees?  Hell, I would submit that we’ve freaking torched that same forest.  At what point will we stand up to the perpetually offended?  It really is completely OK to have differing opinions!  It’s one of the things that sets our country apart.  Can we please get to a point were we stop screaming at each other and leave each other be?  Because frankly, if a child goes without a Christmas gift because some asshole doesn’t believe in God and is so mortally wounded at the thought of someone else celebrating a holiday that only in the loosest of terms actually bears any resemblance to Christianity, then I can’t think of a more selfish and entitled existence.  Shame on you.