Monday, March 7, 2011


If you don't take the following story too seriously, I'm quite sure you'll see the humor in it.  At the very least you'll walk away semi-creeped out but with an interesting tale to share around the water cooler.  What follows is, as usual, a true story, although the names have been changed to protect the stupid.

I happen to know the manager of a low income housing complex.  This manager had to have a conversation with one of her tenants recently.  If she'd been a betting woman, she'd have laid down money on the fact that she would never have need of this type of conversation.  We'll call her Jane.  Jane called the tenant, we'll call him John, and asked him to come to her office for a meeting.  Jane started their chat off by thanking him for being conscientious of his neighbors and complying with her recent request that if he MUST watch pornographic movies, that he would turn the volume down in order to avoid his immediate neighbors hearing sounds that most people would prefer not to hear emanating from their neighbor's apartment.  She also thanked him for changing his habit of answering the door partially clothed while watching those pornographic movies, thereby keeping him from being arrested for exposing himself. 

However, Jane needed to address another situation that recently came onto her radar.  She had to explain to John that this was the one and only warning she would issue on this subject.  Because they are a subsidized housing facility (meaning government funds help in the running of the place) that she absolutely would not tolerate his hiring of prostitutes and bringing them to his apartment.  That should he be unable or unwilling to stop this behavior immediately, she would have no choice but evict him.  Now one might think that John would have been horrified, humiliated, etc, right?  Nope.  He was simply argumentative and wanted to know why he wasn't allowed to have guests in his home.  Jane explained that he could have guests any time he wanted as long as they weren't hired to "service" him. 

Did I mention that John is well over 80 years old?

Today's witty quip:  No need to thank me for the visual.  I figured if I was stuck with it, so are you.  Still a helper and a giver! 

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