And the award goes to...

It’s been said that motherhood is the noblest position one could attain. Sadly, while almost anyone can achieve that lofty goal, there is no users manual that goes along with it.

If there were parenting awards I’m positive I would get the “Bad Mommy Award” multiple years running. I’m the mom that tries to make sure all the details are covered, yet still manages to forget to get the phone number of the friend with whom my son is staying the night, then panics in the middle of the night when I realize it. I’m the mom that plans the beach trip and while remembering to pack the kids clothing appropriate to the unpredictable weather, forgets to bring or even purchase while there, the sunscreen to keep them from scorching like lobsters. I’m the mom who “takes one for the team” and takes the kids and their friends to the water park for the day, and while this time remembering and actually putting to use the sunscreen, doesn’t think to dry off my son before reapplying thus causing the sunburn he came home with because the sunscreen didn’t properly soak into his skin. Yep, motherhood is just a good time to be had by all. Or not.

My favorite bad mommy award moment was probably the time I was picking up my two older children from grade school. I was a long line of cars and when I finally pulled to the front of the school, I hurried the kids to get in and get belted, as there were a ton of other cars behind me. I started to take off and my daughter screams at me to stop. I look in the backseat and realize that my son hadn’t made it fully into the car before I started to drive away! Thankfully no one was hurt, although I’m pretty sure I was the laughingstock of the elementary school for quite some time after. Even worse was the repeat performance later that year! Recently I took my youngest to the doctor for a checkup. We discussed his allergies during the appointment and I asked for a recommendation for allergy medication as his symptoms had been acting up for three weeks or so and he’d been sniffling, sneezing, complaining of a headache, etc. Upon examination she determined it was not in fact allergies, but rather a nasty sinus infection he’d been suffering with for the last three weeks. I’m pretty sure I’m a front-runner at this years awards show. My awards are currently on display on my mantel.

Witty quip of the day: “The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.” - Frank A. Clark. My kids will simply run screaming to the nearest therapist. We’re hoping for full recoveries.