Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Fun with Surgery

I will admit that usually there isn’t anything particularly humorous about someone we care for having surgery. What is however, often extremely funny albeit quite embarrassing to the patient, is the often bizarre reaction to pain medications. Now I’m not talking about allergic reactions here, I mean I’m not sadistic. I’m talking about how while hopped up on narcotics, apparently anything goes in terms of voicing their opinions. While sober, most people possess that natural filter which supposedly exists between brain and mouth. While drugged up though, suddenly a patient gets free license to voice whatever random thought wanders into their addled minds.

Case in point: my father recently had a full knee replacement. This type of surgery is pretty major and requires large quantities of narcotics in order to manage the pain along with a two to three day stay in the hospital during the first part of recuperation. At two days post-op I called my dad to see how he was faring. After speaking with my mom she laughingly passed the phone to my normally extremely controlled, and dry-humored father. The conversation started typically with the usual pleasantries and questions regarding his recuperation, his pain level, and whether the hospital staff was treating him kindly. Suddenly without provocation, he declares that his wife, my mother, is “a lucky woman to be married to him”. I hear my mom in the background agreeing with him… I’m certain I didn’t detect sarcasm there at all. He tells me how she’s been taking good care of him except for the night before where she nearly yanked his catheter out by mistake. His accounting of this affront was the following: “I said, WOMAN! Watch out! I am not a PULL TOY!” I very nearly wet my pants.

Speaking once again to my mother, we decided that my dad on drugs was the most fun we’d had with him in a long time. At the very least, he was providing much fodder to be used during future torment at his expense. He will ever be much appreciative of our lengthy memories and tendency for rehashing his various exploits at inopportune times.

Witty quip of the day: “DARE to keep parents off drugs”. Or don’t. They can actually provide loads of entertainment value under the right circumstances.

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