Saturday, May 16, 2009


McDonalds has attempted to go all fancy-schmancy on us with their newest offering: the McCafe line of espresso drinks. It’s not enough that they’ve long since cornered the market on all manner of questionable foods; be they fried, battered, grilled, limp or stale. Now they are threatening to snag a share of Starbucks' niche market. Sacrilege! We northwesterners know our coffee. You can’t package slop in a fancy cup, add chocolate and a spritz of whipped cream, market the snot out of it as a “Café Mocha”, and expect us to slurp it up like so much, well… coffee!

Added to the indignity of a grown man ordering a “McSomething dripping in grease” and being asked by a grossly unimpressed, pimply faced, ball of attitude whether he’d like to upsize his meal in order to quicken the quadruple bypass lurking at the end of that triple cheese burger and super-sized fries, is the fact that now you can upgrade your meal and instead of downing a mere seven thousand ounces of Dr. Pepper, you can insult your taste buds further by choking down a McLatte, or McMocha instead. Seriously, am I the only one affronted by this desperate attempt at grabbing up more of our hard earned dollars via one stop shopping? Next they’ll offer escargot, pesto pasta, and sushi. It’s not enough that our culture is addicted to their fatty, white flour, white sugar offerings, now they’ve added espresso! Actually, it’s not a terrible ploy. A tad diabolical for a so-called family restaurant chain, yet an idea with merit nonetheless.

Anyone who regularly dines at McDonalds likely doesn’t have a palate mature enough to know that Coffee People, Seattle’s Best, and Starbucks serve upper end coffee that is not only palatable, but also thoroughly enjoyable. Or better still, there are independent espresso shops, which not only allow us to support local entrepreneurs but afford some of the more delightful coffees currently available. Oh and the best part? One can order a favorite coffee drink without having to add a stupid moniker to it such as the “McCafe”.

Today’s witty quip: ‘Scuse me… where’s my latte? Get a life people! Part of the fun of experiencing our world today is the idea of choosing several different venues in which to spend our time and money. Don’t limit yourselves to the one stop shop, get out there and live!


Lynn said...

I liked how you did this one. You need to keep this up Girly!!


Anonymous said...

As a non computer person ,i must say you have a gift for words. Unlike me with two left thumbs i can barely get this damn thing turned on and if,i do figure it out a little i will never be the master of this pain in the butt machine lol.Keep up the great

Apryl Schneider said...

Thanks for the comments! I know this was a little different twist compared to what I've been writing, but I was COMPELLED!!!

Apryl :)

Anonymous said...

I too have tasted Mc D's so called McCrappy coffee...tastes like hospital coffee no matter how much whipped cream and other garbage they add to it...burnt, thick and nasty! We enjoy Thomas Hammer coffee up here in Idaho, gives Starbucks a run for thier money...But I also bleed coffee, so kudos to you! Your local Barista will thank you for your patronage!
Love ya!
Cousin Judyne

Apryl Schneider said...

Oh Judyne... you actually drank that slop! You poor thing :)... I took Bob's word for it that it was nasty LOL.

Love ya back!
Apryl :)