Boys and Their Toys

A man and his motorcycle are much like a boy and his dog. When man decides he wants to purchase 650 cc’s of rumbling power, he’ll come up with a laundry list of brilliant reasons why this is the most logical use of a couple’s expendable income. “But baby, if I ride it to work every day and park the truck, we’ll save over $200 a month in gas” he says, sporting a broad smile, mentally patting himself on the back at having quite nattily appealed to his wife’s frugal side, confident there’s no way she’ll say no to “the face”.

When boy opts to break out the big guns with which to ask his parents for a dog, it’s not entirely different from when man broached the motorcycle subject with his spouse. “I swear Mom, I’ll feed it, and train it, and clean up after it, and I’ve already picked out a name and EVERYTHING!” This adorable child stands with hands clenched in front of him, bouncing side to side, with a wide grin, thinking “Ha! There is no way she can say no to ‘the face’!”

Man, having obtained the prize, will spend hours pouring through motorcycle magazines and parts books; seemingly as if overnight he’s become an expert in all things two-wheeled. He’ll purchase exhaust systems and hand grips, easily spending each month what he assured his wife they would save by “parking the truck”. It’s the driving force of all conversations with pals while beer in hand, they gather round the shiny new love of his life. They’ll designate entire weekends for installing new parts and pondering the next “bike run” while making Tim Allen-esque grunting noises.

Boy will spend hours romping about with his puppy, and even more hours being reminded to feed, water, and perform poopy duty. He’ll spend entire evenings and whole weekends playing ball and wrestling with the love of his life. Countless days will be spent on such nuances as dog’s ability to stop on a dime when careening across hardwood floors chasing favorite toys, but fails to remember that just because he can see through it doesn’t mean the sliding glass door is open. Boy will plan backyard camping events with his friends in which they will tell dog related stories, one upping each other as to whose dog is the best fetcher/chaser/licker ever!

Take a guy poll regarding motorcycles and dogs and I’m wagering the response will be something akin to our witty quip of the day: “If that don’t light your fire, your wood’s gotta be wet!”