Sunday, August 1, 2010

Ooohhh, witchy woman...

We've made some terrific friends in the 4 months in which we've lived in our new home. Finding couples that share similar interests and similar values as your own family is an incredible experience. Our three families spend many an evening breaking bread, enjoying our children, and exploring titillating conversation. The fact that we live mere steps from one another is a terrific bonus! Need a cup of sugar? Come on by! Need a shoulder to cry on? You don't have to knock, just come on in. Want to spend some time wondering at our crazy neighbors down the block? We're ready to laugh and point!

Anyone who knows me will likely readily admit, that I'm rarely at a loss for words. It happened though. It happened on April 3rd, 2010. Yes, I actually remember the date. That was the day we moved in to our new home. That was also the day that several of our new neighbors came by and introduced themselves (I'm sure sheer curiosity had nothing to do with it!). The day had been incredibly long and my family and dearest friends were taking a well deserved break from moving and unpacking and were visiting in the garage. Another of my new neighbors popped in for a chat and proceeded to render me utterly speechless! She introduced herself (names shall be withheld) and welcomed us to this fabulous little neighborhood. Then launched into a diatribe about the previous tenants and all of the terrible things that had befallen them. She regaled me with stories of their sordid affairs involving drugs and lost custody of their children. All the while I'm smiling and nodding and searching for an avenue to escape. Then she switches gears, blazes a toothy grin, and informs me that it was completely fine now, that "they had come through the house once it was empty and performed a spiritual cleansing so there would be no bad energy left for us."

I stood with a smile plastered on my face and managed to keep from allowing my normal sarcasm to fall out of my mouth ie., "great, can you take it back?!?". I'm almost certain I heard my best friend, who was seated behind me in the garage, let out a muffled giggle. When the woman finally said her goodbyes, my family and friends and I were simultaneously horrified yet oddly entertained. Somehow, I had a sneaking suspicion that this woman would provide endless fodder for future discussion. Turns out I was right!

She's in some way connected to her next door neighbor. At the very least they share in her decidedly odd beliefs. Peering down from my master bedroom window, I can clearly see both of their houses and while folding laundry in my room a couple of weeks ago I glanced out to see both of them sitting in his garage, door up, in chairs with a table between them. Crowded on this table were multiple lit candles. He was seated with his hands raised as if in prayer, and she was seated opposite him, holding what appeared to be a short stick, and waving it over the candles then drawing it to her face. She repeated this action over and over while he maintained his pose and didn't move for some time. Uhhh.... creepy! Then there was the morning I awoke and opened the blinds in my room to find that after a party the night before, the neighbor had multiple cauldrons scattered about his driveway. One was quite large, and from my vantage point I could see it was full of something. Lets just say that I didn't rush right over to inquire as to its contents!

There have been lots of crazy goings-on but I'll save them for a later post. Let's leave this little drama with the fact that I've renamed my odd neighbor and now refer to her as crazy-mystic-lady. Politically correct? Nope! But I'm really OK with that.

Today's witty quip: in the absence of something to believe in, people will believe anything. (I'm sure someone besides me said that, but I've paraphrased and claim artistic license!)

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