Wednesday, June 24, 2009

But that was mine!

What is it about the food on a mother’s plate that is so much more tantalizing that anything else in the house? A mother could be settling down with a bowl of grits, and if she hasn’t settled everyone in the house down with the exact same meal, it’s almost a guarantee that she’ll be unable to finish her meal. It won’t be for the obvious reason of stopping because she’s full, since she rarely finds out what full means. No, she’ll be unable to finish her food because her children will have tuned in via supersonic mom’s-got-food-I-haven’t-got radar and will have traversed from various locations in the house to check it out and beg “just a bite” from her. Unfortunately, being mothers we seem to have this built in insatiable need to feed everyone that steps foot into our homes regardless of the fact they have just finished the meal you’ve prepared for them. If one of the kids asks for a bite – and they will – you’re going to give it to them. There is no point in trying to say no; it’s physically painful for us to say, “Hey, that’s mine”.

In the unlikely event that your children don’t accost you for whatever is on your plate, I can assure you that the husband will find you utilizing his superhuman mom’s-eating-something technology and will be sure to ask you, mid-bite no less, whether you plan to finish that. At which point if you are anything like most normal women, you’ll roll your eyes, and hand over whatever it was you were attempting to inhale. Sustenance? Who needs it? Your special mom abilities negate such inane needs as food and drink on a daily basis, unless of course you are out of the house and away from your leeches. Those rare meals out with friends are what sustain you for sometimes weeks at a time till you are able to sneak out for another uninterrupted meal. I’ve known moms who have had to make lunch out with the girls at Olive Garden last as long as two months before taking the time to refuel once more.

Are we super-moms flying in to save the day, feeding wayward children, our husbands, and yes even the dog all while denying ourselves? It would seem so. It’s an interesting phenomenon to say the least. I personally have stooped so low as to sneak to the kitchen, and eat something straight from the refrigerator as quickly and quietly as possible so as to keep from alerting my husband and children to my culinary activities. Believe it or not, occasionally I just want to make and eat something without being asked to make more or give my something up. Selfish, I know. Terribly poor mothering yes, but nonetheless, I am human! I have needs too! I think I’ll start picking food off of my children’s plates just to see if it really does taste better just because it wasn’t on my own.

Witty quip of the day: They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I say the way to a mom’s heart is to let her actually fill her stomach once in a while. Then sit back and watch what happens. Might be kinda fun!


Michael and Lynn Vickers said...

Can I get a frickin amen sister on this one!!!! I have decided to enjoy a dinner night out with the girls every now and the and still find my self feeling guilty. So i make sure i stop eatting and bring the kids home my extras and then some. Man I'm such a mom. :) LOL

Brooke Morgan said...

This is hilarious!! :) I usually don't get asked for part of mine.. they usually want thier own.. even though they may have just finished a meal/snack... I started laughing about standing at the fridge eating as fast as you can, just so you don't have to make something for everyone. :) I've totally felt selfish about that, LOL! :) Good to see you on here, by the way.. :) I found you from an old email or something.. a while back.. can't remember how. :)

Linda Siler said...

I would laugh but it is so true. Moms out there need to understand that even when your children do grow up and leave home and you think that you can finally set down for a complete meal you find out that they left they family dog that always looks at you with those huge eyes that no matter if you had just feed them, say "I am hungry too are you going to share?"
So some many years ago I had decided that I had better look at the bright side.... that the last few bites of food always looked better on their hips than mine, and I thanked them for helping me control my portion size that I ate :)

Mom said...

And your mother wants to know why your family would treat you any differently than mine ever did!!
It really is a great weight loss program without the hassle of measuring the food!!
Love you,

Apryl Schneider said...

Ladies... I salute us all for our tenacity :)

Thanks to you all!

Apryl :)