Wednesday, March 28, 2012


My cousin, affectionately known as "The Tiz", writes frequent Facebook posts entitled "Gym Etiquette with The Tiz" and occasional posts regarding other societal etiquette that seem to have been lost in translation somewhere.  Recently he wrote a post about driving etiquette and fancifully, this morning's news included a story about the University of Iowa and their studies involving driver safety.  Now one might not immediately make the connection between driver etiquette and driver safety, but in this rat race that we all endeavor to run each day, I see the parallels quite consistently.  Emily Post said, "To do exactly as your neighbors do is the only sensible rule."  I, however, must respectfully disagree with Ms. Post.  If we are to do as our neighbors do then it follows that I should, while driving; take photos with my nifty iPhone, send texts, read emails, apply mascara or maybe lipstick, utilize an electric razor, futz with my GPS, turn around in my seat to yell the age old idiom "don't make me stop this car!", eat 3 course meal, spill my recently purchased hot coffee in my lap whereupon I'll sue McDonald's for failing to divulge that said recently purchased hot coffee was in fact, HOT, have animated shouting matches with my passenger, or perhaps even assist with a live birth of puppies.  OK, that last one might have been a bit of a stretch, but who among you can honestly say that you haven't witnessed most, if not all, of the above while driving?

The Tiz wrote about the merits of treating merging onto the freeway as if one were operating a zipper.  First one car from the first lane, then one car from the second lane, then another from the first lane, followed by another from the second lane.  Not entirely a foreign concept to most and yet, much like The Tiz, I myself have witnessed drivers who simply refuse to be delegated to the rear of ANY line.  Riding bumper to bumper as if their very lives depend upon not allowing one solitary vehicle to merge in front of them.  Seriously, who are these people?  In what universe does one get to one's destination more than perhaps a millisecond faster by being a complete and total moron and refusing to allow a peaceful merge to transpire in their presence?

And so, Tiz, you can add The Sophisticated Girl amongst your followers who shake our collective heads in disgust.  I for one, choose NOT to behave as my neighbor behaves in this and frankly, most instances and instead will try to live by the age old adage to treat my neighbor as I myself would like to be treated.

Witty quip of the day:  "It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road."  ~Author Unknown